Ruminations, mostly editorial
Mens sana in springtimetangential
March 31, 2007
My new bicycle has arrived. I am going out to ride it. Think all caps and several exclamation points.
At the same time, bad news. Alas, my poor neighbor, the one with the dog ...
Yesterday, to the tune of $6000, she had her heat pump replaced. At 3:30 in the morning I heard the dog barking loudly for what seemed like a half hour. "What on earth is going on," I said to myself. "It must be something." As it turned out, it was. At half past seven the telephone rang. It was not my sister. It was Karen. Karen is emphatically not a morning person. "Did you hear Finley barking early this morning?" she asked. "Yes," I said....
She had woken up feeling what seemed like raindrops on her face. Water was streaming through the ceiling (from the new heat pump) around the ceiling fan (which was on) and onto her bed. She got up and stumbled into the hallway to turn off both the fan and the heater. The fan then fell onto her bed, followed by the ceiling. Water continued to pour (as it had been for several hours) into her unit and the unit below, soaking the carpet of the basement of the unit below. The fellows who had installed the heat pump the day before —taking from 8 in the morning until nearly 6 in the evening to do so— had failed to test it properly after installation. They checked the air conditioner, but not the heater. Had they checked the heater, they would have seen that they had installed a faulty valve. By the time dawn came, the emergency units had arrived and pumps were installed and pumping madly, drains leading through the hallway and out across the yard, down the outside steps, and into the street. And so on ....
March 31, 2007 10:23 AM | Add comment | Read comments (0)
High moral groundstrictly editorial
March 30, 2007
Ethical dilemma resolved easily enough.
[HGC] My real reason for asking about how many lessons are outstanding has to do with my invoicing. I realize that we are only in the midst of the first round of edits, and that we have at least two more to go. However, the total word count, even with the documents we haven't yet received, is much lower than what we estimated when I bid on the project. How do you think we should handle this?
[Client] Thanks for your honesty, but it's also your time and flexibility that are valuable to me. I don't think you need to invoice according to the word count, just the description of the task. ...you do a lot more than general editing-so that the word count does not have to be emphasized. Thanks again.
March 30, 2007 11:48 AM | Add comment | Read comments (0)
Trademarking jargontangential
March 29, 2007
In reading just now the commercial catalog of a nationally known and reputable company I happen to support, I noticed a registered trademark I found quaint. Flat foot technology. As in your feet. As on bicycle brakes. The technology, just to be clear, permits you to start and stop with your feet, to keep both feet on the ground for complete control.
Ah, the power of language.....
March 29, 2007 3:35 PM | Add comment | Read comments (0)
Ethical dilemmastrictly editorial
March 28, 2007
Consultant bids on a project based on word count. Repeat client accepts proposal. Schedule for payments and work are set in contract. Contract is issued by funding organization. Fixed fee contract is signed. Payments are to be made by funding organization. Project is run by client. Project includes multiple documents, all parts of a whole.
Client and consultant acknowledge informally by email beforehand that work schedule will not correspond with payment schedule, and that payments will often be in advance of work. Consultant isn't comfortable but agrees because Client insists.
Work begins. Work proceeds well enough. Client is happy. Consultant is happy.
Client nags Consultant to submit invoices on payment schedule. Consultant realizes along the way that the word count on which the bid was made is far higher than what will pan out. Work is in midstream. From consultant's perspective, what's already been paid will likely be already a generous enough amount for the work done and yet to be done. Client, meanwhile, writes again, nagging Consultant for the third of four invoices.
What does Consultant do?
March 28, 2007 1:13 PM | Add comment | Read comments (0)
Focusstrictly editorial
March 26, 2007
In 1986 I ran a marathon, slowly, four o four. In 1987 I ran another, much faster, four o three. In 2007 I ran yet another, loosely speaking, thirteen o something.
Loosely speaking, I said, very loosely. Call it 150 pages line edited, on a Sunday, a nice balmy sunshiny Sunday. I sat inside, staring at the computer screen, galloping across pages. Thirteen hours, nine miles through Rock Creek Park (that was the bicycle break), some 11.53 pages an hour.
I'm now reviewing what I did. Not bad. Impossible to sustain, but not bad. Good to know what one can do in a crunch. Focus. Why is it so elusive? Much more engaging to do seventeen things at once and get absolutely nothing accomplished.
March 26, 2007 9:05 PM | Add comment | Read comments (0)
Bethesda Writer's Centerstrictly editorial
March 17, 2007
The cost is $315. The class starts April 10 (coincidentally Mimi's birthday) and ends May 29.
Stories from the Attic. Everybody has a story to tell, but sometimes family stories that are handed down at reunions and gatherings are lost because they never find their way to the written page. In this workshop we will explore ways to make your memories come alive on the page through in-class exercises and readings of published essays. Our main focus, however, will be on writing. The workshop is designed both for writers seeking publication, and those wanting to write their stories to pass on as a record of family history.
I have hopes. We'll see.
March 17, 2007 2:05 PM | Add comment | Read comments (0)
Emails not dispatchedstrictly editorial
March 16, 2007
This being the reply I would send, would like to send now, have been advised to send later. Ha. Kindness does not pay. That's another topic.
You said nothing about relocating. Instead, you skipped town without a word, having promised a check on a specific date. What was I supposed to think? We had a business arrangement. You have have reneged on the contract.
Please note that I submitted the manuscript on 14 December. The contract cited 29 December as the latest date by which the manuscript would be submitted. The difference is two weeks, not, as you keep suggesting, a month. If you recall also, in our initial meetings, you were anxious to have the manuscript back within a few weeks, which would have meant mid to late November. What an interesting change after the fact.
As to your disappointment with the edits and deletions in the final third of the manuscript, first, I discussed these with you in person, by email, and by telephone. You were aware, you said, that you had overwritten. I detailed them in the style sheet, which I submitted with the manuscript and identified in the contract. The final third of the manuscript was in fact the weakest. See the pertinent excerpt of the style sheet below.
I spent a great deal more time and work on the manuscript than I had anticipated doing even after the first read. I took care, not the careless approach you suggest. The manuscript —despite its solid plot and character development— was otherwise weak. Grammar was at best incredibly faulty, scenes were prone to hyperbole and overstatement and excessive length. You explained that you were aware of this. My job, we agreed, was to trim away the excess. We discussed this several times. You explained that this was precisely why you had hired me. I agreed. I went further to say repeatedly that the core of your story was solid, and that the work on the language was merited.
You thanked me, profusely, repeatedly. Now you complain. Is this to justify disappearing without a word and not paying a contracted invoice? It certainly seems that way.
O = original, TC = track change version
- Dangling and misplaced modifying phrases frequent and problematic. Edited to address without comment.
- Dialog throughout the manuscript is heavy on smiles and half smiles. Similarly, gestures throughout consist largely of hands on arms and grasping of arms. Simple deletion resolves both.
- Dialog throughout the manuscript also relies heavily on speakers pausing and continuing and leaning forward and back in their chairs. Minimized to avoid overuse.
- Dialog format changed from run-in paragraph to a paragraph per spoken line. Not only is this convention for the genre, but advisable when breakin in with a first novel in popular fiction.
- In places, the occasional omniscient narration is somewhat awkward. Edited to address. See comments in manuscript.
- Amanda first appears at the Eastman cocktail party (17 O, 33 TC). She is not introduced and her last name is not given. Adam angles for a second date. Some background needed.
- Adam’s cell phone rings in chimes the first time and later in loud claxon. Changed for appropriateness to character and consistency in manuscript.
- Post-blast New Orleans. Victoria’s exchange with the generals. Forsythe is a brigadier general. His superior is the mysogenist lieutenant general. Victoria addresses Forsythe as if he is the senior officer. Left Forsythe, gave lieutenant general the name of Thomas Cobbs. (122 O, 305 TC)
- Nigel is introduced at Camp David as if Victoria hasn’t met him. Problematic. (128 O, 321 TC)
- Davenport is at Camp David one day and four hours away by a 787 the next. No departure indicated. Needs to be resolved. See edit. (127 + 132 O, 318 + 331 TC).
- Air Force One scene (133 O, 332 TC) heavily edited, much deleted. See comment in text for detail.
- Deaths occurred in the autumn. Funeral procession cannot be winter. Edited weather details accordingly.
- Radically reduced the lying-in-state and funeral scenes in chapters 20 and 22. They do not —as a whole— contribute to the development and unfolding of the plot or the characters. For the reader and the story more generally, too much information and too off-tempo from the rest of the novel. Combined chapters 20-22 after reduction.
March 16, 2007 3:39 PM | Add comment | Read comments (0)
The copyright stickstrictly editorial
March 14, 2007
In November I edited a political thriller. The plot was reasonable, the characters well rounded, the hyperbole excessive, and the writing ... um ... awful. I finished, however. The matter did not.
My first testy note was dated March 1. Hope sprang eternal as I composed it, but got me nowhere. If he weren't an earnest gay lawyer, this wouldn't be as amusing. There is that.
Dear Nit,
You had said in your email of January 18 that you would send the final check in the amount of $1,000 at the end of January. It has not arrived. You have not responded to my query dated February 15. It is now March 1.
Our contract, which I just reviewed, specified that the final 50 percent of the contracted $4,000 total was due within 30 days of my submitting the fully edited manuscript to you. I did so on December 15. The contract stipulated that it would be submitted on or before December 29. The difference was a matter of 14 days.
It has now been 75 days since I turned the completed manuscript over to you.
The contract also stipulates a finance charge of 1.5% per month on the unpaid amount of the invoice when the account is past due. It is past due, so that the remaining $1,000 is now in fact $1,047.50.
I look forward to receiving the final check so that I can lay this invoice and contract to rest.
Sincerely and so forth
Now, on March 14, armed with one known collection agency recommended by an editor or two, I resort to threats.
Dear Nit,
It has now been 90 days since I turned over the fully edited manuscript to you. I can only assume, in not hearing from you and in not receiving a final payment, that you are reneging on our contract. I will therefore now turn the matter over to a collection agency.
In addition, because you have not paid me for my work on your manuscript, I retain copyright on that work and am free to use it as I see fit. That is, the manuscript as edited cannot legally be offered to an agent or publisher or published until I have been paid. Were the payment as agreed to in the contract to be made in full, of course, I would surrender such copyright.
Sincerely and so forth
March 14, 2007 10:27 AM | Add comment | Read comments (0)
Mens sana...tangential
March 11, 2007
Alas, I recall little of my Latin. Only the obvious ones linger. In vino veritas. Mens sana, corpore sano. On that last note, I contemplate —after such a dry spell— a new bicycle. For twenty years I've explored the bike trails and streets and roads of Virginia and the District and Maryland. I know them as well as I do Agatha Christie plots. I can recite, except that I do not recite. Now, my thought is, I will explore the countryside.
With this
The purchase will do the economy good. Furthermore, with a clear mind, I can better focus on the manuscripts on my desk. Such as the one I've been dilly dallying with for days. Its 118 pages of reference list entries call my name.
March 11, 2007 10:18 AM | Add comment | Read comments (0)
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