Ruminations, mostly editorial
With some amazementtangential
December 31, 2003
Twenty years ago it must be, that I put it best. At the time it was having gone to the funeral of the man I knew as Easy Wickham, who lies in the Naval Academy cemetery in Annapolis, near my grandfather, near my brother-in-law, near my grandmother. Now it comes to mind for 2002 and 2003, a different requiem for a different man who lies in a different place, because of whom I will never be quite the same again, nor want to forget it.
This by way of explanation for the autumn shift, when suddenly and quietly at no specific moment on no specific day I realized that the bitterness had slipped away, that bygones were bygones. The bitterness nothing more than my lashing out, an immediate disbelief and denial that lasted 9 months or more, because I couldn't absorb, or didn't want to, the fact that he was dead, that certainly I couldn't or wouldn't or wasn't ready to move on.
It being the end of the year, in retrospect, before I forget to write it down, because life and I have moved on, I write it now, transcribing myself from Richmond and twenty years ago ...
After hours of dream and no decision,
Gravesite empty in a silent afternoon,
Feelings inexpressible, as feelings are--
Gestures and words remain,
Wielding power and futility
In another season of a different year
With other thoughts and images,
Brittle echoes of finality
As days, with some amazement,
Fall upon each other, and proceed.
December 31, 2003 11:18 AM | Add comment | Read comments (0)
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